Motherhood – Learning who your real friends are.

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Before entering motherhood, my friendships were those of my 20 year old uni self. I had a great group of friends who I knew I could call upon for a last minute night out. I was a social butterfly and had no trouble at all with meeting new people wherever we or I went and would often form relationships quite easily.

Now I’m in the ‘motherhood bubble’ I look back at those friendships and it’s pretty clear to say that they were an indication of what my priorities used to be! This included lots of nights out, chilled days with the girls and just having as much fun as possible.

It wasn’t long after I found out that I  was pregnant that I felt a shift in these relationships. However it’s not all doom and gloom as I am pleased to say some of them stuck around. It did make me realise though that some of the people I’d actually called ‘friends’ over the years didn’t really fit that description.

Embarking on Motherhood is definitely when your friendships are put to the test and this is when I really started to recognise and appreciate those amazing people that I did have in my life.

In the first stages of being a mummy, my time and energy was solely spent on raising and caring for my little Eva (obviously) and suddenly the things I really cared about before such as nights out, drinking, spending my Sunday’s hungover and chilling out with the girls til all hours became a distant memory and it actually didn’t matter to me anymore. The thought of feeling hungover and looking after a baby made me feel sick.

I longed for friends that I could relate to and friends who understood me, my feelings and also where I was coming from when I was turning down an invite.

On the flip side, the friends that have been there for me throughout my pregnancy and who are still in mine and Eva’s life now, most of them don’t have their own children. Actually none of them do! So hats off to those few beautiful women who don’t have children but still GET IT!

All of the above has made me so much more aware of the people I let into my world and the reasons why I’ve cut people out of it. This is because it’s not just my world anymore and in a sense i’m not the priority anymore.

My Friendships Now… 

 

These women are my TRIBE! I’d even go as far as saying these women are my family, and they have taught me what true, authentic friendship looks like.

 

Thank you for reading,

Amy xo

**This blog post is written in collaboration with the Mother Hen Club! If you don’t know what the Mother Hen club is, It’s a great community for mum’s and mum’s to be to gain support, advice, friendships and much more. Definitely go check them out over on Instagram @motherhenclub or have a look at their website –> Mother Hen Club .

 

 

 

 

 

 

12 thoughts on “Motherhood – Learning who your real friends are.

  1. Sour Girl says:

    You’re lucky that you’re a mum. It’s easier for you to make new friends. When you’re single and childless you lose friends when they get pregnant it’s hard not to be bitter about it

    Like

    • Amy Greaves says:

      Yes I am very lucky, but I don’t take it for granted. I appreciate every day with Eva. I do see it from your side and totally understand. However it’s not always easy to make friends with a child. There is still that worry you don’t match up to other mums and it’s a whole new set of standards you have to match up to! I’d also like to point out my blog is written from my point of view, the way I see it. Everyones different x

      Like

      • Sour Girl says:

        Well I want to kill myself every day so yeah you’re lucky I would give everything and anything to have what you have so it caused me pain to see your blog entry under the “loneliness” tag because I try to find people in my situation not people who trigger me by causing envy it’s bad enough that i live in a town where everyone has kids. I can’t wait to be dead have a nice life the life I was DENIED

        Like

      • Sour Girl says:

        And here’s a tip too…why don’t you try making friends with people who aren’t just mum’s? No wonder childfree people don’t like parents

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      • Amy Greaves says:

        I’m sad that you feel that way but my blog is MY avenue for my feelings and personal experiences. You shouldn’t be taking all this out on me, you don’t even know me! I’d also like to point out I have lots of friends who arent mums 😊

        Like

      • Sour Girl says:

        I find it insulting that someone with so much claims to be lonely you have a husband, kids and friends …seriously I’m trying not to be rude to you but it’s too difficult so I’m going away now just know that people like you are part of the reason why I need to die. Hate is a strong word but I hate …good bye

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      • Amy Greaves says:

        Keep in mind this is an internet blog via social media I’m not a professional and this can only be from my perspective. I’m sorry if that truely is the way you feel. I would say that if that is the case then social media, which is a known trigger for depression, really isn’t the right place for you to voice such a serious subject. Suicidal feeling should never be voiced lightly and if that truly is the way you feel I would urge you to talk to somebody qualified to support you rather than voicing it on social media.

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    • Mary says:

      Hi! I think your comments are absolutely uncalled for. You are doing a brilliant job of trolling Amy’s blog. It’s a shame that you feel suicidal and for that I would urge you to seek help immediately because there will be people that can help you. As a mother I can tell you that Amy’s blog is accurate in what happens when you are pregnant and then give birth. The people who you think care about you just don’t and that can cause a level of loneliness you don’t anticipate. People experience loneliness at different times in their life because of different things and I don’t think it’s very fair for you to stay who should and shouldn’t feel loneliness. Let’s share the love and not be so hateful.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Molly says:

    Another honest and fab blog Amy, thank you x As a woman with no children I honestly love reading about your experiences of motherhood- childless women dont hate parents! It such a shame to see hate here on your wall. Keep doing what you are doing 😘

    Liked by 1 person

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