Motherhood – Learning who your real friends are.

 

Before entering motherhood, my friendships were those of my 20 year old uni self. I had a great group of friends who I knew I could call upon for a last minute night out. I was a social butterfly and had no trouble at all with meeting new people wherever we or I went and would often form relationships quite easily.

Now I’m in the ‘motherhood bubble’ I look back at those friendships and it’s pretty clear to say that they were an indication of what my priorities used to be! This included lots of nights out, chilled days with the girls and just having as much fun as possible.

It wasn’t long after I found out that I  was pregnant that I felt a shift in these relationships. However it’s not all doom and gloom as I am pleased to say some of them stuck around. It did make me realise though that some of the people I’d actually called ‘friends’ over the years didn’t really fit that description.

While my ‘friends’ continued to go out and drive up and down the country for nights out with each other, I was at home feeling exhausted and dealing with morning sickness and hormones. Invitations to join them started to slow down as well as texts and calls. However at this moment, this is where I knew who my true, forever friends were.  

Embarking on Motherhood is definitely when your friendships are put to the test and this is when I really started to recognise and appreciate those amazing people that I did have in my life.

In the first stages of being a mummy, my time and energy was solely spent on raising and caring for my little Eva (obviously) and suddenly the things I really cared about before such as nights out, drinking, spending my Sunday’s hungover and chilling out with the girls til all hours became a distant memory and it actually didn’t matter to me anymore. The thought of feeling hungover and looking after a baby made me feel sick.

I longed for friends that I could relate to and friends who understood me, my feelings and also where I was coming from when I was turning down an invite. I longed for another mother that could relate to me and that I could ask “Is this normal?” at 4 in the morning and not feel judged for my baby being awake most of the night because she’s breastfed. I just needed someone who got it.

As motherhood has a way of maturing you over night, I think it’s only natural to start gravitating towards others who share the same feelings as you. I found amazing women like this through blogging and Instagram and also at my antenatal class. We chose to go with NCT and yes it was expensive but so so worth it just for the friendships, women and kiddies we have in our life now. 

On the flip side, the friends that have been there for me throughout my pregnancy and who are still in mine and Eva’s life now, most of them don’t have their own children. Actually none of them do! So hats off to those few beautiful women who don’t have children but still GET IT!

All of the above has made me so much more aware of the people I let into my world and the reasons why I’ve cut people out of it. This is because it’s not just my world anymore and in a sense i’m not the priority anymore.

My Friendships Now… 

The women in my life are so so much more than just friends. We cry, we laugh, we lift each other up and we support one another – ALWAYS. These women send a text or call me just to check in and see how I am. They bring me coffee or cake just because. They offer to have my child to give me some downtime or so I can get s*** done. These women listen but not only that they also share their stories with me! Whether it’s good or bad. They advise me, guide me and also inspire me a hell of a lot. 

These women are my TRIBE! I’d even go as far as saying these women are my family, and they have taught me what true, authentic friendship looks like.

 

Thank you for reading,

Amy xo

**This blog post is written in collaboration with the Mother Hen Club! If you don’t know what the Mother Hen club is, It’s a great community for mum’s and mum’s to be to gain support, advice, friendships and much more. Definitely go check them out over on Instagram @motherhenclub or have a look at their website –> Mother Hen Club .